22.11.11

Went to Mt.Takao with coworkers and some artists staying at TWS! My first time going there and it was absolutely beautiful!! I got some two best fortunes so hopefully it will be amazing for the rest of the year!

15.11.11

There is nothing to be afraid of if you are not scared of losing something. I am not sure if it is anything but my weird pride that is bugging me and preventing me to break out of myself. I've recently lost interest in anything; job, hobby, relationship, friends... I took a trip with my friends and my significant other this past weekend and honestly I couldn't think of anything but whether they were enjoying it. It's really been so the whole time... I am always worrying about whether I am impressing the others well enough... Gag I need to stop this.

11.11.11

Happy muffin moment it was for me.

09.11.11

どうしたら

部屋きれいになるんだろう？
友達と仲良くなれるんだろう？
恋人と上手くやってけるんだろう？
時間通りに物事進められるんだろう？
多趣味になれるんだろう？
早起きできるんだろう？
人見知りなくなるんだろう？
物知りになれるんだろう？
余計な事言わなくなるんだろう？
尊敬されるんだろう？
嘘つかなくなるんだろう？
楽しく人生送れるんだろう？

08.11.11

It's definitely been too long of an escape from reality. It's been over two years since coming back to Japan and I just cannot say in any way I am doing well.

I kind of came to a quick realization of what is happening; I have been somewhat different, in a way a bit cool having lived in different countries and being able to speak some languages well enough to impress people to some level. In reality I ain't no different. I am rather a mean, unconfident and and yet a stuckup person. I have been kind of living comfortably with this fake reputation of being different but I am getting older and I am not new to Japan anymore. I am not that kid that just has just come back from abroad woo.
So I should just live with who I am rather than sticking to my past experienced. This actually is the first time I feel so believe it or not. I am not exotic anymore because of what I have done. It's time that I wake up and actually work hard to be exotic and special. I don't know how I will achieve this, or even whether I will ever, but the first step is to try hard at everything to the point I can say I am good at everything.

05.11.11

I am sick today and so is the weather.

03.11.11

Two weekends ago I went to Taipei. It was a magical trip that took me back to Japan at the state it should have always stayed at.

01.11.11

Twas a great Halloween!!

28.10.11

どうしたら

部屋きれいになるんだろう？
友達と仲良くなれるんだろう？
恋人と上手くやってけるんだろう？
時間通りに物事進められるんだろう？
多趣味になれるんだろう？
早起きできるんだろう？
人見知りなくなるんだろう？
物知りになれるんだろう？
余計な事言わなくなるんだろう？
尊敬されるんだろう？
嘘つかなくなるんだろう？
楽しく人生送れるんだろう？

20.10.11

If everything you are doing is not as perfect as you want them to be, do less and make those things perfect.

30.09.11

Plan things well so you can use your time wisely!!

That's what I learned in New York.

Planning means sorting out the tasks and having goals to achieve, which I have Bren lacking in my life. I should really work hard though, to actually feel like I am getting better everyday.

So at the end of the I can feel like I deserve a cake or two.

28.09.11

Now I have an iPhone app for blogging I can do this anywhere I want! I hope to update with more stuff later... Nut Facebook, twitter and this... Can I really keep those up? I am not sure.

29.03.11

there was something wrong with me,
because I once forgot how much I loved them.

25.03.11

今回の震災で色々考えることが出来た。

その考えられる、将来に希望が持てるということ自体、
感謝するべきだと思う。

今こうやって仕事中にもブログを書いていられる自分。
メールや電話で好きな人に話せる自分。
家族や知り合いに被害がなかった自分。


節電やガス不足、また放射能で不安になることはある。

でも、生きていてしかもやりたいことが出来る自分に感謝。
そして、こういった環境にいられるのも、
今周りにいる友人や家族、そして遠くにいる知り合いのお蔭です。

今の自分に導いてくれた人たち。

迷いはあるけれど、
自分の信じることに突き進んでいきたい。

大丈夫、まだ生きてるから。

21.03.11

More than a week before the biggest disaster in Japan, since the WWII.

People in Tokyo live in fear;
yet they show no sign of it - and instead they live and work as they usually do.
This is not because they are not scared, but they have hope.

They have hope for the country.

They also don't want to show any fear, so those up in the north, who have no houses, food, electricity, warmth, or even family, friends or lovers, have less fear.

I am in Tokyo right now.

I left it for two days, due to loneliness of all my friends leaving.

My best friend and my love, left.
No sign after their leave. Just the fact they were enjoying their lives.
Happy for them, but it wasn't very easy.

Me not being able to leave, being left alone, trying to convince myself that it's fine.

So I was thinking to myself it was all their fault, until I started realizing that they are just doing what they wanna do, and I'm just not a part of their lives as much as I think they are in mine....but well, tough luck.

I called around to see who's up for hosting me, found a very nice friend that has a really nice house back in Shizuoka.
Good food, good house, good town...it was very nice, indeed.


But enough of my weekend; the place I am spending my life in is going through much bigger problem.

We still have yet to figure out how to build up the economy and have the trust from the people towards the government.

It's tearing apart; people leaving Tokyo temporarily.

We need to stick together.

But it's late now, I will write later.

24.01.11

I can depend on a lot of people,
but just not the one I want to depend on.

I might as well spend the life on my own.